Frenemies – 5 Reasons to Let Go and Move On
Frenemies – (friends, lovers, co-workers) - we all have them to one degree or another. You know - the ones that basque in your success by association or steal an idea and then take credit for it in front of you. They can be sweet as sugar in your presence and tell a tale of lies and deceit when your back is turned for a millisecond. To move forward and be successful (I mean happiness), you must, must, must, rid these people from your repertoire of “friends” to create the magical space that will be your life experiences, your joy, and your newfound freedom.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. ~ Maya Angelou
5 Character Traits of Frenemies
If someone is sharing malicious gossip with you about a mutual friend, rest assured that they are doing the same thing to you with the other person. I worked with a woman, that shared VERY confidential information about a work colleague with me and another person. When that person left the room, she immediately launched into a diatribe of intimate and unkind details about them. There was fire and spark in her eyes. She lorded her false power of knowledge over everyone she knew. She left a lasting impression on me – to avoid her at all costs. Never again, did I share a detail with her about my life. She made up most of it by embellishing this second hand gossip. These people are toxic and have no place in your energetic space.
Gaslighting can have long lasting effects on your emotional, physical, spiritual and mental health. I urge you to go no contact with anyone that exhibits this behaviour. I went to Bard on the Beach with a “friend”. We made explicit arrangements for dinner and a play. As the time drew near to the event, things were not as they seemed. I left the play bewildered, used, angry and hungry. She was arranging a dinner with a man, that unfolded during the entire play, with phone calls, texts, disappearing acts, lies, and arrangements that culminated as a grand exit in a Lamborghini – her chariot awaited. Her goodbye kiss was staged as was her posing and strutting like a model on a runway. Every detail was arranged and planned in this performance of lies and cruelty. Shakespeare couldn’t have written it better. That was one hell of a metaphor! Bye bye frenemy.
Some people have an addiction or compulsion to lie, mostly, to protect themselves from the lack of honesty of their behaviour and not taking responsibility for healing their own wounds and moving forward. You don’t have time to fix the world or allow that energy into your intimate space. You do not serve your fullest potential or theirs by allowing the toxic residue of lying to infect your life. If you are doing it, just stop. It will eat away at your credibility because no one will trust you. The secret can’t be kept indefinitely. Denial has lasting effects on your body health and well-being. It sounds corny, but, “the truth will set you free”. Lies stick in the body and cause dis-ease. Let them go and create space for lightness and flow.
Sarcasm usually comes disguised as humour. Behind the curtain lies jealousy, put downs, mean spirited jokes, and comments meant to erode your self-confidence and ability to take self-directed action that will bring you success. You know that person – you are huddled in a group at a party and your partner says something cutting and demeaning. It causes an uncomfortable snicker amongst the group. Then your partner blurts out, “just kidding”. “Can’t you take a joke?” It causes you emotional pain. Get rid of these toxic energy vampires before they drain the life-blood and vitality out of you.
These are the people that steal your ideas, your husband, your girlfriends and anybody they think will lead to social climbing, information, or a leg up on you. A leg up is a good metaphor, as they will stomp all over your boundaries to get it. They borrow money and never pay it back. They sleep with your husband, flirt with your boyfriend and generally wreak havoc on your self-esteem by taking anything of yours that gives them this sense of power and control. These are sad individuals that need help, but not from you. They will take, and take, until they have drained you emotionally, or financially, and then…they disappear. Beware!
When you use and trust your intuition, change happens fast. Don’t put time in the way of removing toxic people (frenemies) from your life. Being nice to a fault does not serve you or the frenemy doing the deeds that leave you exhausted, drained and in need of healing and support. Trust your intuition, go into your body, and feel the message that is being generated by this relationship. If it doesn’t feel good, it isn’t. The message is a wake-up call for you to step back from the chaos of the relationship, let go of the toxic energy exchange, and embrace the spaciousness of possibility that is your life.
I am a Medical Intuitive, Reiki Master/Teacher, Laughter Yoga Facilitator, and Meditation Facilitator. If you are interested in learning more check out the rest of my website or subscribe to read more blogs.
© Susan Lee Woodward - 2018 - This article in its entirety is protected by Canadian and International copyright laws. Reproduction of this written content without written permission of the author is prohibited.