There are people walking the planet thinking that they know what is best for others. Shocking information! They are chronically giving unsolicited advice. They have ALL the answers to every topic, even if they have no basis in fact. They will decide on your career path and doing business the “right” way, aka their way, with no wiggle room for nuances and gaping discrepancies in values, and ethics. They will tell you how to fix your love life, relationships with your family, your career, and your health. There’s just one problem - NOBODY ASKED!
Shoulders walk amongst us scoping out business events and family gatherings, hovering at meetings just waiting to tell you what you are doing wrong. The irony of course, is that these poor souls generally spend so much time advising others, because there is messiness within their own lives. Shoulding takes the focus off looking inwards, addressing unmet needs, and healing unresolved wounds. It’s also a fabulous way to project and deny these hidden gems of information that your intuition is providing for healing and growth. It’s easier to fix others. Shoulders are on the fast track, scooting around, and under, their own unresolved blockages, that wreak havoc on their life. Then they unwittingly pass them on to you.
If you are a Shoulder, it’s time to look in the mirror. If people are Shoulding on you, it’s time to look in the mirror. See what I did there?
Keep Your Energy Safe
Intuition Is Truth – You Can Trust It
Everyone has intuition. What we do is override it with logic. Our body is speaking to us all the time with aches, pains, shivers, and inklings that something or someone is off. Trust it! You are your best barometer for decision-making. Sit quietly with your un-thoughts (If you are thinking, you are not using your intuition.), breathe, and let the information come. Ask. Don’t go fishing for an answer. It will come to you when the time is right. Look for signs – overhearing a conversation, hearing the same word 10 times in a week, reading the side of a bus, etc. Pay attention. When a Shoulder approaches you with the answers to the universe, smile, say thank you, and let it go on the breeze of your intuitive magic carpet, far away, to the place where you file useless information.
Keep Your Circle Small
I was at a writer’s conference in 2014 listening to Wayne Dyer talk about the importance of focus, and where you put your energy, to accomplish what is important to you. He is adored by millions of people all over the world. By his own admission, he has a small, and exclusive, group of close friends and family. He does not allow the Shoulders to interfere. The circle is sacred, and filled with enlightened, uplifting energy. It’s okay to have Shoulders around the periphery. Your goal is not to eliminate them. That’s precious energy wasted. Your goal is to minimize the energetic influence by creating a sacred space of love, encouragement, and creative expansion. You are special. Keep the circle special too.
Let Them Have Their Opinions
Being heard and validated is an incredible gift. Honour another by showing that you have the grace to respect someone else’s opinion, whether or not you agree. The important piece is to allow that negative energy to drift away and not have it stick to your energy field. Remember, opinions are not facts. Allow the Shoulder the dignity to speak. Remember to keep that energy where it belongs, with them. Note here, I am not advocating that you don’t take responsibility for your behaviour – nope, nope nope. That happens far too much. If you hurt someone, you apologize. If you lie, stop it. If you cheat stop it.
Stay Away From Energy Vampires
Shoulders are energy vampires and they will suck the life out of you. They gain energy by vicariously draining and using up yours. While you are inside the gas station paying for your fill, they are siphoning your gas. Shoulders have a way of taking a victory, and turning it into a negative. These are the parents that criticize the child that comes home with a B+ instead of an A, the boss that chastises you in front of colleagues for a misspelled word in a document, or the friend that encourages you to eat that third piece of cake when you are on a diet. Shoulders are needy. They gain importance by “helping” you and “just being honest”.
Live Your Life Without Regret
Do not let the Shoulders run your life! Make your decisions based on your wants and needs, your feelings, your body, and what truly drives your happiness and joy. There will always be Shoulders telling others the right way to live. I encourage you to go inside, feel the decisions in your body, and in your heart. Trust the wisdom of your intuition to guide you. Allow the Shoulders to walk their path. We all have lessons to learn and no one is immune. Feed your needs, love with all your heart, but most of all, live the life of your dreams instead of dreaming of the life you want to live. Seriously, you should do that!
© Susan Lee Woodward - 2018 - This article in its entirety is protected by Canadian and International copyright laws. Reproduction of this written content without written permission of the author is prohibited.